


Shutting Up Howard Stark

by Darling_Pretty



Category: Agent Carter (TV), Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Don't Worry About It, Other, honestly it's nothing but crack, just laugh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-19
Updated: 2015-05-19
Packaged: 2018-03-31 06:36:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 560
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3968143
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Darling_Pretty/pseuds/Darling_Pretty
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Peggy Carter deserves a Congressional Medal of Honor for shutting up Howard Stark.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Shutting Up Howard Stark

**Author's Note:**

> Please don't take this seriously.

Howard Stark did not shut up. That was a well-known fact. It also happened to be the bane of Peggy Carter’s existence.

She worked closely with the man, him tasked with the science of Rebirth, her with the human side of it. They’d spent hours bent over books, trying to unlock the secrets of the Russian experiments. He hadn’t stopped talking, had kept a running narration of what they found, what they didn’t find, what he’d have for lunch, the latest girl in his bed. It took everything in Peggy’s power not to clock him. Her superiors would be angry with her for decking their engineering genius.

And so she listened to Howard’s incessant rambling, his crude innuendos. He liked to flirt with her and she took that in stride too. She knew that Howard Stark was the sort who could snap his fingers and make just about anything appear. But Peggy Carter was not a commodity and could not be swayed by his large fortune or, admittedly, good looks.

Of course, the problem with this approach was that it added a factor of unattainability that was catnip to men such as Howard. But the man was harmless really, content to make lewd comments and offer to warm her “lonely” bed. Peggy could fend him off with little more than a scathing eye roll.

If she was honest, she rather liked the man, at least whoever he was beneath the veneer. She considered him a friend. Exhausting and absurd. A friend she’d never invite out for a drink, but a friend nonetheless.

He drove her crazy with his ceaseless ruminations and jokes. Every crude line was followed by a look that reminded Peggy of a schoolboy, a mixture of giddiness and petulance. He was just waiting to see how she’d react. Usually she didn’t.

However, one day, he was in rare form and Peggy had a headache. She wasn’t sure he’d stopped talking long enough to draw breath; she was amazed he hadn’t collapsed yet from a lack of oxygen. And today, he did not seem particularly deterred by Peggy’s eyes rolling towards the ceiling and her shaking head. She’d called his name at least seven times and he wasn’t listening.

So Peggy Carter did what seemed like the quickest solution. She leaned right over the table, took his face in her hands, and planted a kiss right on his lips.

It meant nothing to either of them; they both knew that. Still, the second she pulled away was the most blissful moment of Peggy Carter’s life. Howard’s face was positively still, his eyes wide, his mouth hanging open. Peggy smirked.

“Now let’s get back to work, shall we?” she asked and turned her attention back to the papers in front of her.

Howard stared for another twenty seconds, looking for all the world like one of his prototypes sputtering to life for the first time. And then he grinned. “I always knew you liked me, Carter. So when am I taking you out? I know this little place, not far…”

And off he went, his steady flow of conversation now peppered with smirks and even more crude insinuations. Peggy went back to rolling her eyes.

She’d likely never hear the end of it, but maybe it was worth it for twenty seconds of Howard Stark being absolutely, gloriously silent.


End file.
